Okay, so I’lll admit there was a time when I indulged in a few holiday romances, but that was many years ago.
Now I am older and wiser and a whole lot more cautious.
After all, the broken heart following such affairs is deterrent enough for me not to venture into those waters again.
So I approached this relationship with grown up attitudes. We would be together for 5 days, we would enjoy the time we had together and go our separate ways with no strings attached, no expectations and therefore, no pain. Nothing could be simpler.
And so it was that we danced around each other, assessing how far we could push ourselves and each other.
We tested which buttons would produce a joy of such magnitude I cannot begin to describe it, and which buttons were clearly going to be a no-no with me left deflated and hanging on the ground, foolish and stunned by the speed of the whole chain of events!!!!
Still I persevered, thinking the whole thing would be so worth it for 5 days. And I believe he did as well as he stuck by me – faithfully and quietly. Never looking elsewhere, always waiting for me to join him.
But he was not boring; not submissive, quick to challenge me and turn a ho hum moment into an adventure. There were times when he was confronting, prodding and dare I say it, even went so far as to goad me into losing my ‘cool’.
It was at moments like these that the encouragement and support of my girl friends kept me ‘in the game’ so to speak and made it all worthwhile.
And then it was all over and I had to leave.
I had been preparing myself for this moment from day one, but still, it was SO much harder than I had expected it to be.
A long kiss, and I walked away.
But no, not too far.
I came back for another cuddle and a whisper and he gave me a kind, soft, lingering nuzzle which left me oh so warm and fuzzy.
I was ready to leave him.
It was after all, just a holiday romance.
I stalked him the day after I left to find that he was happy, content, eating well and showing little sign of distress.
Was I relieved?
Just a little.
But hurt too, did it really mean so little to him,
this holiday romance?
At home again with a slow heart I did the washing, hung it up to dry
and there it was!!!!!!!!
He had not just walked away casually without a backward glance.
He had left me a locket of his beautiful hair.
Well perhaps not quite a locket.
Rather a whole lot of auburn, russet short hairs.
But still a secret parting gift to remember our precious time together,
those stolen moments when we swam unhindered,
bare backed, not even socks or shoes;
in a delicious spine tingling icy glacial pool with no one around
They were there, clinging to my leggings – the leggings I wore on that special ‘bare back’ day.
Even After the washing machine had done it’s work.
Clearly, I had meant something to him, since he wove them so firmly into the cloth of my, was going to say soul,
but really just my pants and jackets.
Still, a gift from him to me.
So Just Perhaps, this wasn’t merely a holiday romance,
but a whole lot more.
The Big question now is,
do I live with ‘him’ around me for a little longer,
or do I use the band aid approach to purge all memory
with a lint stick?
“the look of love”